Heaven's Lost Ed
by Matfix
Summary: This is a response from H-Man89995 to my challenge. He told me to post his story along with the chapters to it on my profile. When an unidentified mysterious animal crashes onto the Junkyard, the Eds' lives will never be the same again! Let's hope the neighborhood can take these new and strange invaders...
1. Fallen

Hiya, folks! How many of you like crossovers? *sees all the raised hands* Great! And how many of you like mature content? *sees some of the hands lowering themselves* Oh, come on! That's not really fair, now is it? I'm not talking about porn or anything!

…although I can't say it's not like it doesn't belong in mature content. But nonetheless. The following is meant to be a smart crossover between two series that would fit surprisingly well together, all things considered, and I think that once you're done reading it, you'll be sure to agree. There may be some heavy moments, but nothing too bothersome… er, I hope.

At any rate, enjoy!

* * *

It was another boring summer day in Peach Creek. Birds were singing, pants were dead, and the local Cul-de-Sac kids were having fun together, as they were always wont to do. Right now, they were playing a fun game of tag football near the playground, although it was mostly a game between local tough guy Kevin, foreigner farmhand Rolf, and local weird kid Jonny, with Nazz, Sarah and Jimmy watching from the sidelines.

Normally, the peace and quiet would have been ruined by our favorite trio of scammers and friends, the mismatched boys collectively known as the Eds, but today the kids at the cul-de-sac had nothing to worry about, being too busy with their own games. The truth was that they were currently hanging out at their 'Central Command', the name they had given to the awesome van they had found during one of their earlier misadventures that year. While Ed made loud vehicle noises, Eddy focused on working the steering wheel, using a pair of platform shoes to slam on the pedals.

"Alright boys, let's get ready!" he declared, with a grin. "We're approaching Fort Knox! It's time to use the Eddymobile's weapons to invade and conquer!"

Edd barely held back his own chuckles, as he saw how much the others had gotten into it. His imagination was working just as well, so he could picture the group on the road to an even bigger version of a giant money strongbox, but he also pictured all forms of guards and defenses ahead of them. "Eddy, there's still time to turn back!" he said, pretending he was concerned. "We don't need to do this!"

"Oh please!" was the response, maybe a bit more bitter than expected. "It's the chance of a lifetime! This is our only chance to do what no other criminal masterminds have ever done before!"

"And it means fighting English supervillains, Double D!" Ed added, between loud noises. "Like the Smug Man and the Smog Man and the Rain Man!"

"I don't think that last one was a British supervillain, Ed-" the sock-headed boy let out, just before Eddy slammed on the brake; to simulate the effect, Ed pushed their seats as far as they could, throwing them against the van front. "-OOF!"

"Grr… way to go, Lumpy!" Eddy complained, the short boy taking one look at the window. "Activate all weapons!"

With that, Ed suddenly started yelling out a whole lot of sounds, between WHOOSHes and KABOOMs and RA-TA-TA-TA-TAs. That in itself was pretty surprising, but the most impressive part was how the big yellow boy was managing to cry out in stereo. Even Edd and Eddy were staring at him with eyes wide, like the time when Edd had revealed himself to be a prodigy at the steel pedal guitar.

After doing that for a minute straight, Ed suddenly stopped. He tried doing some motions with his hands, but his mouth only let out the sound of a gun clicking uselessly. "Out of ammo!" he let out, after that.

Eddy took a couple of seconds to react. "H-huh? Oh! Right!" he let out, turning back to the window. "It seems like we've got most of the guards, but the building is still stand-"

A loud noise broke their attention again, although it wasn't just a noise; Central Command was rocked like crazy, sending the boys against the walls of the van and rolling like crazy, the water bed shaking like it was made of gelatin or something. Once everything stopped spinning, the Eds took a couple of seconds to recover, eyes still closed.

"Ugh, what just happened?" Eddy groaned, shaking his head only to find it made him even dizzier. "Was that an earthquake or something?"

"Eddy, Peach Creek isn't even close to the edges of the North American seismic plates," Edd explained, hoping he could keep his breakfast in his stomach even now. "It was also too brief to be a proper earth tremor, at any rate."

"Maybe it's an alien probe sent by the planet Zoltar!" Ed suggested, currently upside-down and with his head having bent the van's flooring somehow.

After getting out of the van, they saw that the big mountain of garbage piled up right besides their van had just disappeared somehow. "…what was that?" Eddy asked the others, as they stared at the crater that had formed right there.

Edd scratched the back of his head, unsure. "I don't know, Eddy… I admit I wasn't looking over there when the garbage tower exploded like that, but there isn't much that could have done this."

"Ooh! Ooh! It's an alien probe sent by the planet Zoltar!" Ed repeated, grinning. That only led to another groan from the other boys.

"Ed, I'm sure that it would be nothing of the sort," Edd said, even as Eddy started to approach the crater. "Of course, it could have been a meteorite or even one of the satellites that have been falling back on Earth these last few months, but-"

"Well that's got to be the weirdest satellite I ever saw!" the short boy interrupted him, drawing their attention. He looked awfully sweaty and nervous now, his face having turned redder than it usually was. "Check that out!"

As they looked past the crater's limits, Ed and Edd's eyes widened in a way that only happened when they were truly scared or shocked, and sweat started to pour down their faces. Lying on the ground was a big girl, at least as tall as Edd (hat included), with red hair and pale skin. She was dressed in what seemed like a white dress, although whoever had designed it had no sense of when to stop cutting; there was nothing on the neckline aside from a big black collar, and her dress started on her chest, while her cleavage line went as low as her bellybutton.

Not that any of the Eds had noticed that yet, because their eyes were practically glued to her large breasts, which were almost completely exposed thanks to the cut-off nature of the dress. Then there was her skirt, small enough to barely cover her bottoms, and designed to not give much modesty to her as well; Eddy was the first one to notice that, as well as the way her boots and stockings were designed.

But it was with a strange, ruffling noise that the three finally noticed the most surprising feature of that girl. Behind her, spread onto the ground, was a pair of pink-ish wings, quite large and spreading through much of the crater's bottom.

Edd was the first one to speak. "What… what is that?" he let out, looking at the wings with plenty of curiosity. Eddy was busy gauging the attractiveness of the girl to the fact that an entire mountain of junk and garbage had been destroyed and their van was nearly sent flying away.

Being unused to such attractiveness, it won by far against his better judgement, so much so that he hadn't even noticed that yet.

However, the short boy didn't have a chance to act on that either; Ed suddenly smiled in that dopey way of his. "Look, guys! It's a harpea!" the yellow-skinned boy cried out, climbing past the crater limits and starting to go downhill.

"What do you think you're doing, burrhead?!" Eddy let out, as both he and Edd grabbed onto his jacket and started pulling back; just because he wasn't really scared of the girl didn't mean he thought it was a good idea to let Ed trample his way forward like that.

"But Eddy! It's a cool harpea!" Ed answered, not losing his initial momentum. Edd forced his feet down to the ground the best he could, feeling it grind and push up dirt, but he refused to let go even as his friend dragged them along.

"Ed, listen! You can't just go around looking at things just because you think they're 'cool', or else you're going to…" Neither Ed nor Eddy were really paying attention at this point, as the sock-headed boy started yet another one of his rants, and the former started resorting to stomping his way forward to the unconscious girl. With one last big step, he swung both arms forward, finally loosening them from his friends.

Of course, neither of them expecte the loud WHUMP that came when Double-D was unlucky enough to meet his namesake facefirst, the large and soft breasts quivering and wobbling. Despite their softness, they were solid enough that his head was stuck, as he discovered when trying to pull it out of there.

Eddy would have yelled at Ed for being a moron, but the sight of his other best friend stuck on a girl's breasts was too unfair and hilarious for him to ignore. "Come on, Lumpy, we've gotta get Sockhead out of there!" he said, and Ed saluted with one finger on his nose.

"Okey dokey!" he declared, grabbing onto Edd's body and starting to pull. Much to his surprise, however, his mighty strength was not enough to rescue Edd from the bountiful prison he was trapped in, and it took a few more pulls before he managed to - the last pull being so hard that Ed fell back against the crater wall, Sockhead in his arms.

For a few seconds, Edd could say nothing. To begin with, he was still out of air, and the struggle to get out of that trap was enough to exhaust him significantly. More importantly, however, Eddy had his hands on the girl's shoulders, having pulled her as well to try and get him out. And yet, he was glaring at him, quite frankly.

"E… Eddy?" he breathed out, at last. The short boy continued to glare at him for a few more seconds, before finally speaking.

"How was it?" he asked, his tone surprisingly restrained compared to the glare he seemed to be giving. After he didn't answer, Eddy pressed on. "Come on, what was it like?"

"What was it like to… what?" the hat-wearing boy repeated, not quite sure, and then the other boy rolled his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?" Eddy finally smirked in that way that could be so annoying at times. "Hey Burrhead, check it out! Double-D just got to first base with that girl's chest and he doesn't even remember it!"

"Double-D found treasure?" Ed asked, the expression flying over his head faster than a cruiser at full speed. "Oh boy, Double-D! I never saw you take that girl's treasure chest and take it to your secret base! How did you do that?"

Edd was too busy going red at what Eddy had said to try and make sense of Ed's insane ramblings. He just tapped his fingers for a few seconds, his sweat building up by the bucketload now. "U-um, I, er…"

Eddy would have found the scene hilarious, but years of dealing with Ed meant he could tell when saying something would lead to incessant and needless questioning, and this was clearly one of those times. "Like I said, he doesn't even remember it, Lumpy," he said, hoping that would end Ed's interest in the subject for now. Then, he propped the girl back into a sitting position. "More importantly, what do we do with this girl?"

"Obviously we should take her to the hospital at once, Eddy!" Edd managed to say, after wiping his brow with a sterilized handkerchief he always kept at hand. "She must have injured herself when-"

"Injured herself? Are you kidding me?" the short boy cut him off, moving her arms and head awkwardly. "Just look at her! There isn't even a bruise or dirt on her! And not even a bit of junk underneath!" While he continued to fool around, making her breasts bounce with each action and driving the other two boys back into a sweaty, nervous state, he pulled on one of her wings. "And look! These things are stuck to her! She's like an angel or something!"

"D-don't be silly, Eddy…" Edd let out, nervous. "E-even if they existed, it's not like a-angels would h-have genders, and… well, I'm s-sure that n-none of them would look female…"

"Do angels fall like shooting stars?" Ed asked, both eyes aimed at the exact opposite direction from each other. "Ooh! Ooh! Let's find more angels!"

Edd struggled to sigh. "Ed, I already told you, there is no such thing as angels…" he said, looking away from her just enough to speak reasonably again. Eddy tugged on her wings.

"Well, either this is the most realistic mannequin I've ever seen or this is an angel, guys," he said, before lowering his arms with a huge grin. "Can you imagine how much the kids would pay to see a real angel?"

"Eddy, that's not an angel." Now the hat-wearing boy was starting to get unhappy, as he made his way to Eddy. "Angels are just the figments of an overactive imagination created by a strong belief in religious concepts which are, in and of themselves, not necessarily real. I'm sure there's a logical explanation behind this…"

Just as he had grabbed onto her arm, however, the girl's eyes opened, revealing a deep red color that seemed to lack in actual irises. "…h-huh?!" he let out, just as the other Eds realized something had changed, trying to get a better look at her.

"Beginning Imprinting…" she said, in a low and sweet voice, before the chain on her collar started to form. Edd's eyes widened as the chain materialized from nowhere, going down to where his hand had been, and following it all the way to his palm - where it suddenly wrapped around, tightening in the most realistic manner he had ever seen.

Their jaws fell as the girl loosened herself from Eddy's grip, kneeling before him. "Greetings, My Master. I am an Entertainment-Class Angeloid of the Alpha-Type, Ikaros," she said, her wings flapping a bit to adjust themselves. "I have been sent here to serve you."

There was a moment of silence in the junkyard, right after she said that.

And then there was the thud when Edd fainted and hit the ground, back first.


	2. Desires 1

Thank you all for reading! I'm glad that you enjoyed chapter 1 enough to read it and even favorite it! Just... too bad it was only four people who did that. But well, it's still a bigger number than zero so...

There's also one review! Hooray! Let's answer it:

Winky Keaton: Thanks for reading, kid! It's a pity that I can't follow most of your suggestions... see, the point of the fic isn't 'bring the Eds to Sorami' or 'bring Sorami to the Eds'. My emphasis is on the crossover aspect, which is to say, on the Eds and the other kids having to deal with the Angeloid presence. Not only that, but really, Tomoki not being Ikaros' Master... I'm sorry, it just doesn't work to me.

Still, thanks for reading, and I hope you'll have other ideas you might want to suggest! And for the rest of you, enjoy!

* * *

Groan. Noises.

"I think he's waking up, Eddy!"

Another groan. More noises.

"Well, it's about time, Sockhead!"

Why was it so noisy right now?

"Are you okay, Master?"

Edd's eyes opened as soon as he heard those words, and he tried to sit up. 'Tried' being the keyword; the sudden jolt led to him hitting his forehead on Eddy's, as he realized shortly after the bump to his head.

"Ow! What's with the violence, Double-D?" the short boy asked, rubbing his head and three strings of hair in the process. Edd didn't answer at first, instead doing his best to focus on his surroundings.

They were still at the junkyard, as shown by the amount of garbage that surrounded them, and both his friends were standing close to him. At a first glance, it seemed like nothing had really changed, and the hat-wearing boy ran one hand over his forehead.

"Phew!" he let out, smiling. "It would appear I simply had a terrifying nightmare, but no more." That confused both Ed and Eddy, as they stared at him.

"What are you talking about, Double-D?" Eddy asked, and the sock-wearing boy stood up, doing his best to brush his clothes clean.

"Why, is it not obvious?" he asked them, sounding quite confident. "After whatever happened to send our good old Central Command flying, I must have knocked my head against one of the walls and collapsed into the sweet bliss of oblivion. After all, there is no way I could have ever been told that I was anyone's master, no matter what the reason would be."

Edd chuckled, right then, but to his surprise neither Ed nor Eddy had done so. "Geez, denial much?" the latter simply replied, drawing a look from Ed.

"Double-D's Egyptian?" he asked, but Eddy ignored him.

"Well, Sockhead, you might wanna check on your hand again!" he said, surprising Edd; when the latter took one look at his right hand, he saw it was wrapped in a metallic chain, some kind of harmless green pulse flowing through the links and all the way to a point he couldn't tell. And connected to the chain was…

"Are you okay, Master?"

It was to the hat-wearing boy's credit that he did not fall unconscious again, once he saw the red-haired angelic being standing right behind him, her chain nestled between her breasts. She was staring at him with a curious expression on her face, those green eyes looking straight at him in a way that made him feel quite uncomfortable, and not just from the way she was somewhat bent over him.

"I-I-I-I…" Edd stuttered, his tongue nearly tying itself as he tried to speak. Seeing how his friend was now utterly useless, Eddy decided to do what he always did in such situations and take charge of it.

"So what the heck just happened?" he asked the winged girl, tapping one foot. "Did you fall from the sky or something?"

"I don't know…" she said, her voice quiet. "All I remember is waking up after Imprinting on Master. Did something happen?"

"That's what we want to know!" Eddy snapped, indicating the crater on the ground still nearby. "Was it you who did this? Where did you come from? Why did you do that 'printing' thing on Double-D?"

"When I woke up, Master was the first person I saw," she explained, somewhat unsure. "I simply performed my necessary function…

"You mean, like a robot?" Ed asked, all smiles. "Cool! We found a real robot!"

"Ed, be more polite!" Edd admonished him. "This girl is not a robot!"

"Actually…" she interrupted him, much to their surprise, and put one hand on her collar's chain, "although it is not the precise definition… you could say that an Angeloid such as myself is a 'robot'."

Eddy blinked. "Wait, what?"

"In one of your languages, the word 'robot' would be translated to 'servant', and that is my role." Her wings flapped gently again. "I am an Entertainment-Class Angeloid of the Alpha-Type, Ikaros. It is my duty to serve you, Master, and perform whatever tasks you wish me to."

"W-w-wait… 'servant'?" Edd repeated, eyes widening, even as the other Eds heard that as well. "You mean… you have to obey me?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master. I must obey your orders."

"But I don't want you to do that!"

"I am sorry, Master." While Edd stared at her, quite disturbed, Eddy was busy taking into consideration the actual meaning of her words.

"Did you just say you have to do whatever we say?" he asked, and she nodded. "Anything? Anything at all?"

"Anything that my Master desires, I must obey," Ikaros explained, before bowing slightly. "But if the two of you are affiliated with my Master, I see no reason I should not obey your orders as long as my Master does not forbid it."

"P-please don't say things like that…" Edd requested, quite nervous now, just as Eddy got one of his nastiest grins.

"Alright, girly, here's the thing. Sockhead isn't going to give you orders unless you can prove you can really do anything we want." That caught the redhead's attention, and she stood straight again. "So, why don't you go ahead and show us what you can do? Like say, get us some money?"

"Yes…" she acknowledged, taking out some kind of plastic card with a glowing gem on the back. The Eds had just taken notice of it when it started to glow, breaking apart and reconfiguring itself into a new shape. "You wish for… money, right…?"

"E-Eddy!" Edd stammered, looking back and forth between them. "What are you doing?!"

"Oh, come on, Double-D!" the shorter boy said, a bit too loudly. "This is our chance to figure out more about her! If she wants to obey commands then why not-"

"Is this enough?" Ikaros asked, showing them the object she held; although it was like a calculator, it was quite cutesy, with the cartoonish wing on the front. The number on the screen was quite large, however, higher than any amount either of them had ever thought of.

Eddy was silent for a few seconds. "Um… yes…?" he let out, and she pressed a button. One second later, he found himself buried alive underneath a pile of something soft and paper-like, which had fallen on top of him for some reason.

A few seconds later, the short boy had managed to get his head out of that pile, though he was covered in small cuts. "Ow! What the heck?!" he managed to say, carefully; even his tongue seemed to have been cut, or at least he was worried about that.

"Oh, dear…" Edd hesitated to say, as he looked at one of the paper things on his hands; while Ed was busy poking at them, he was performing a more focused examination. "Eddy, what have you done?"

"What have I-Sockhead, I just fought my way out of this stupid pile of paper! What are you glaring at me for?" Eddy complained, only to see what Edd was holding - a 100 dollar bill. One of many, in fact, with the rest of them resting all around him.

Cash signs replaced his eyes completely at that point.

"WOO-HOO! MONEY! MONEY MONEY MONEY!" he cried out, a large grin on his face, while throwing the bills to the air. "WE'RE RICH, BOYS!"

"Eddy! What are you saying?!" Edd interrupted his cheerful cries, even as Ed started to swim on it like it was water. "This isn't a normal situation! You can't just accept it this easily and act like there's nothing wrong!"

"I should have known you'd find something wrong in us getting rich," Eddy grumbled, his grin turning into a scowl as he tried to build a throne out of the many, many bills that neither he nor Ed had managed to fool around with yet. "Actually, I am the one who should be complaining here! You managed to land face-first on the biggest pair of boobs around these parts and instead of yelling at you, she's calling you 'Master' and doing whatever you want! That's not fair!"

Edd nearly fainted again when he was reminded of his unfortunate trip. "W-well, that… that has nothing to do with this! We don't know where this money came from, and I very much doubt it's actually valid currency considering it seems to have literally been spawned out of thin air!"

Upon hearing that, the short boy took one of the notes, giving it a good look-over against the light. "Nope! No way something like this can be fake!" he declared, before smirking. "But hey! We can ask our new friend here to give us a device to confirm if these are fake or not if you want!"

"That's another thing!" When Eddy tried to make his way to Ikaros, Edd got between them. "You can't just give her orders willy-nilly! This isn't right!"

Eddy looked at Ikaros, who was looking at them in confusion, the only expression she seemed to have in her blank face. "You're making a really big deal out of this, you know."

"Well someone has to!" Edd turned back to face the Angeloid, raising his chained hand. "Take this off."

"Huh?"

"I refuse to take part in this. I'm absolutely not going to have anyone as my slave, and force them to obey orders!" he explained, quite serious. "Take it off now!"

"…I cannot."

Hearing those words literally stripped the color from Edd's body.

"I cannot remove the chain from my body or yours like this. It's the representation of the Imprinting I've done on you, to ensure maximum efficiency." Her wings flapped slightly, as she looked at him with those sad eyes of hers. "I… cannot obey that order."

"But… but that's not fair!" the hat-wearing Ed-boy complained, unhappy at this situation. "Slavery is wrong! You can't just go around, calling me Master, saying you'll do anything I ask for, and then-"

"Hey Sockhead!" Eddy interrupted this time, pulling him back. "Remember what she said? She's a robot! As in, not a real person!"

"Well I find that hard to believe-"

"I freaking tugged on her wings, Double-D! Those things are real! And she just created a machine that made us richer than ever! We don't even need to scam anymore!" Eddy's expression was strange, coming from him. He was smiling like when he had a great (and oftentimes terrible) idea, but he also had at least some degree of seriousness this time. "Do you need her to strip down and show that she's a machine or something?"

That made the boy turn red like his shirt, or even more. "N-now, now, Eddy, there is no need for such jokes-"

"Master… should I do that?" Ikaros interrupted, drawing their attention as she stood right next to them. Even Ed stopped fooling around with the money she had brought to them, while she pressed her own hands against her clothes. "Should I… 'strip down' for you?"

"NO! No! Just… just no!" Edd quickly interrupted, grabbing Eddy's mouth before he could say 'yes'. "It was just a joke! Not intended! Please do not take him seriously!"

"Yes, Master," she said, making the hatted Ed-boy sigh with sadness.

"What did I get myself into this time…?" he wondered, quite unhappy. Right before he could say anything else, however, Ed suddenly appeared right from under him, lifting his head such that now he was riding his shoulders.

"Ooh! Ooh! My turn, my turn!" the tall Ed cried out, all smiles. "I want a comic books and monster movie store that'll let me get all the comic books and monster movies I want for free!"

"Ed! What did I just say?" Edd snapped, hearing that. "You're not supposed to be ordering her around like that! It's wrong to force someone to obey you, and I have already made it clear that-"

"But I want my wish to come true, Double-D! I really, really do!" Ed begged, interrupting him.

"No means no, Ed. I think it's about time the two of you would stop indulging your exacerbated ids and started to behave more properly! Why, if you took the time to educate yourselves more adequately, I am sure that your issues with your grades and your popularity would end quite easily!"

"Wish, Double-D! Wish!"

Eddy pulled his friends' hands off his mouth, at this point, already annoyed by the growing argument. "Can you even do that, anyway?" he asked Ikaros, who stared at him. "You know, create the store and all?"

Ikaros just nodded, even as the calculator turned into its card form with a burst of light. "It should be possible, yes… this should be able to do it."

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Ed begged as he suddenly moved towards her, Edd falling off his back from the sudden movement. "I want it to look really cool and be full of comics and movies and I want it to let me get whatever I want!"

After pulling his face off the dirt, Edd glared at him. "Ed! Stop!" he cried out, but Ikaros had already nodded. The card turned into light again, just before it took off towards the cul-de-sac.

Ed grinned as he followed it, first with his eyes and then his feet, leaving the others behind. "Wait for me, magical firefly!"

"Ed! Have you even been listening to me?" Edd complained as he ran in pursuit, his own uneasiness discomforting. Eddy was about to follow when he noticed that Ikaros had flapped her wings just the once, before she started to follow her Master - by flying.

His eyes widened as he actually had a glance down her skirt. The shock was such that he tripped on his own foot, landing face-first on the ground as well. "I can't believe this…" he groaned, his voice muffled by the dirt.


End file.
